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There are times in your life when you feel that you are just living, eating, and wasting time while the whole world around you is earning and adding extra zeros to their bank account. And I very well know that all of us fall prey to this mentality when we have gone through our worst breakup and have taken a long career break. Actually, this human mind is programmed with too much stuff which is not needed, and that's the only reason these kinds of thoughts knock on your head very often.

My life did not turn out the way I planned it. I planned the best life for myself but I am the one who has gone through heartaches, physical problems, and emotional problems the most. I took care of my health to a great extent that no one can even imagine but my mental pain transformed into physical pain. Though I am mentally free of the past my body is still healing. I am 42 years old now. When I look back at my life I see myself as a carefree girl who never thought too much but I was never a bad decision maker. Though time proved many things wrong I know that it was for a reason.

Today is the first day of Navaratri 2022. My dad does Durga Puja every year and aarti in the morning and evening. Durga maa is a symbol of power. She was created to fight with the demons because no God could overpower the demons so they needed a figure which had the combined energy of all Gods. All Gods and Goddess put together their power in one form so that she could fight and even win the battle against demons. She is a mother, a lady whom we worship. She has all the weapons which she needs to slay the demons.

Life is a journey where you can plan your next moment and the coming days but you never know what is going to happen next. There is a mix of certainty and uncertainty but that’s ok. As far as life is concerned there is no guarantee of what may happen next. Every person has his share of ups and downs in life but that does not declare you a failure. You don’t fail at anything until and unless you are willing to give up on yourself. Failure is a short period that gets prolonged in our memory.

There are a few notes from me which I want my readers to keep in mind that this world which seems real is an energy world. Whatever you are thinking or doing in your inner world will manifest in the outer world. You accept it or reject it but it is absolutely your choice. I am someone who attached to the past much more than usual and that is the only reason it affected my body to the extent that it took so long for recovery.

My dad asked me what is life? I thought for a moment and then answered him. Life is the image of the fantasy world in my thoughts and I want to manifest that exactly into this world. I don’t understand reality but I want to create the one which is in my head as a real one. That’s life for me. Dad looked at me with a big question mark on his face. Yeah I know sometimes I sound more illogical than all the things which you cannot see but still exists.

To some spirituality is a fancy word while for others it is their daily practice that gets them one step closer to their connection with divinity or God. There is no one way to reach the divine and I bet no one can debate this fact. If you want to get God then you can do it by following rituals, mantra chanting, meditation, or simply by being silent and connecting with nature. There are no hard and fast rules and if any person made the rules then it is going to be broken by some or other living being. People say Gods are not accessible to negative people but that is absolutely wrong.

I think every person out there will agree with the fact that this vast massive universe is governed by certain laws. You can skip human court or prison but not the court of the universe. When this giant bubble was created by the Gods they also set certain rules by which every living being in the cosmic world has to abide by. You accept it, reject it, or complain about it but still, you have to follow it. If you break the rules be prepared for creating karmas which have to be repaid by you in the next birth.

I hope I do full justice with the write-up since I have not slept properly for the last 5 days. In the year 2015 I signed up to fulfilling a dream which cost me many things but I don’t regret the decision. Everything which is meant for me will be in my life and the people who left my life are now a part of the past so a fresh life with a new code. The changing energies of the planet along with too many changes happening within my own physical body have taken away my night's sleep.

Nowadays I think about everything which a normal human being would never think about. My dad thinks just because I have too much time to spend with myself I keep hallucinating. How do I tell them that the images in my head have started transforming into reality? My parents cannot read much of my energy and I think they are too engrossed in thinking that the person who is staying with them is still a kid. I sometimes feel like telling my parents I am a little grown-up now.