I am 42 years young. Yeah because I am still a small kid for my mommy and daddy. I never grew up for them. Even when I do all sorts of stuff that don’t appeal to them, they still love me. My dad wants to leave everything just for me so that my whole life is secured. Then the universe and my God. They too are in the process of securing my life. I am still working on my spiritual awakening and facing health issues and the universe wants me to continue with everything but slow down since it is time for results and manifestation. It has to start. My wait is over. How everything will unfold in my life is still not clear to me but it will all be revealed to me in divine time. I tried to run my life the way I want. I planned many things but the universe always stepped in and interfered with my life’s plan. They want me to totally surrender to them, trust their decision for me and not bother too much about what is next in my life. I had developed a severe allergy problem and could not understand how to cure the problem. I was very tense because allopathic medicines don’t suit my body much. With everything in my mind, I visited the Skin specialist and ate medicines for 5 days and then left it since it increased my inflammation. Sometimes I just want to give up and live a normal life but I can’t since I have two more energies inside of me. They don’t give up on me and want me to have blind faith in them.
I too go through phases where I suffer from too many self-doubts but then I think if I am meant to do something I will be able to do it since it has been written by none other than “Anantha” in the timeline which has come. Hard work, smart work, easy or difficult, I don’t want to differentiate between any because I just want to do what I am meant to do. When you work heavily on your spiritual self there are moments when you feel too connected with invisible beings. It is great that my God resides at a place where he is most reachable and he does not come to claim me. If he does then I will have to leave my body and accompany him. My time on earth is not yet over and I know that very well. I will touch everyone’s life in some or another way. That one man who has been chosen by my god to be my better half will be in my life at the divine time and he will be someone who will be touched by my presence 100%. I am not perfect and I can’t be perfect but my God’s grace is heavily on me and that is the only reason I look the way I look at the age of 42. I never hide my age. My God says when I trust them fully my life is fully secured. I want to discuss everything with the man who will be in my life as my better half since I have worked heavily on the manifestation of male energy in my life because there was no other way. It was all decided by the invisible realm and I had to abide by their decision. Whatever I am doing is their decision for me. Though it seems to people that it is me but it is he not me.
There is one single question that arises in my mind again and again and that is why I don’t have a normal life like my other sisters. My life took a very different turn to the extent that I can’t recognize my own self when I look in the mirror. I can’t find myself even 1% inside my body. I can’t see miseries in other people’s life though I have gone through lots in my own life. I want the divine realm to interfere and give justice not only to me but to everyone else out there because I may become biased. I don’t want to do that. For me, everyone is the same. I write about myself because I have to accept my new reality now and I can’t run away from it anymore. The only question that arises in my head is, Is this me? How can this be me? Let’s walk on this journey together. It feels good. What is total surrender? It means that you hand over your life to your God or the universe and trust their decision for you. Have faith that when the time is right they will make things happen in your life and you need not be tense about it. Total surrender is required when you are in the process of manifesting out of the world dreams where 100% heavenly guidance is required because the rule book has not been handed over to you. When Draupadi was forcefully brought to the Raj sabha when her husbands lost all their kingdom, wealth, and her in the game of dice, she was ripped off her clothes in front of everyone. She asked Lord Krishna for help while still holding on to her sari very tightly. Krishna did not come but when she loosened her grip and handed over herself to Lord Krishna, he came and then saved her. That is the example of total surrender when you have faith in the higher realm that they will give you everything at the right moment and help you in every way, you just have to do what you are meant or guided to do.
Every person’s life is different and every person cannot have the same dreams. That is the only reason god’s created few understanding souls who could support the change-makers because their purpose in life is different. I always admire understanding men who marry women even after knowing fully about them. They look at the beauty in their flaws and accept the fact that no one is perfect. Yeah, I too need a very understanding man in my life. Let’s see who it is? The picture which I have in my head or someone else. I don’t know but I want to know because now I want to move ahead in my life. I have waited much more than usual and there was a very specific reason behind that since it was a moment of heavy transformation where I had to live a “Bramachari” life but now that phase is over. When you don’t know how then it is better to trust the process and move ahead with your own pace because sometimes the universe walks 1008 miles for you so that you can get what you have dreamed about. God’s are very giving people and that is the only reason even when I am still facing some health issues I have surrendered to the process because I know I am in the safe hands of the universe and I trust their decision for me.
I totally agree with the fact that you need to work hard for making your dreams real but I can’t do hard work now so I think when I attach my name with my better half his destiny will change along with mine and even influence my energies which will help me and him in making our dreams a living reality. The cosmos planned my life very differently because my locked door can be opened by only one key and that is the decision of the divine realm for me because I am trying to access that very door through my body which has been lying locked for ages. I know I am insane and I have all dreams which are enough to put me under that label but a dream is a dream and I can dream anything, the reason is I have Anantha in my life. It is meant to be and will be. It feels like I have lived in exile for 6 long years and suddenly the gates will open and I will land in a place which was in my dream world and my god will declare “Welcome to your new life”. It is all a dream and nothing seems real because that when I saw a shining bright light in front of me on 31st December 2015 it felt unreal because I could only see a bright light in front of me and everything just disappeared. That was real. My divine experience in February 2016 when I was standing in front of the photo frame of “Sri Anantha Padmanabhaswamy” is real. Though I don’t have any idea of how I reached there but I was standing near my God.
Everything which happened with me in Navaratri 2019, 17th September 2019, and 21st September 2019 seems unreal but they are real. That flower that landed out of nowhere was also real. With so many proofs in my life, still I find it difficult to accept my new reality and question who am I? I have never lived a life of complete surrender but now I have no other option. Let’s see what’s next. The past which hurt me the most is gone. No, I don’t remember it and I want to leave this place so that it becomes just a memory. I am living my present and the future has started manifesting in real form. It is harvesting season and a time for a change. When the earth is shifting timelines without many people being aware of it there are lots of things happening in the background since it is time for a huge change to happen. The planetary changes signify something which cannot be ignored and astrologers are guessing about everything that may go wrong. I want everyone to focus on what may go right. The cosmic consciousness is heavily influenced under divine guidance and will show its true essence when the time is right.
When the time is right things will just happen because the remote control of the universe has been taken over by the creator himself. What do you want? I just wished for 3 things and it will be fulfilled now. God’s grace can change the entire course of your life. When you trust the invisible realm fully they do keep all their promises and fulfill them at the right time. The genie which exists inside of you will speak to you by means of intuition and make you aware of your manifestations by means of synchronicities. Keep the faith. Live your life and don’t look for too much perfection because it seems plastic. Your imperfections make you look beautiful and make you who you are. Fall in love with your own self and just focus on your work. See what the divine realm gives you when you have put your 100% faith in them. Life is a sweet dream and always remember other than god no one is perfect.
Self-love is very important if you want to live your dream life because whatever you want to manifest in the outside world is an extension of your inner world. When you love yourself for who you are, you will see that you will manifest unimaginable stuff because it all exists within you. Have patience because everything happens in divine time.
