When your life seems 100% out of order and you can’t make any sense as to what is happening? Chill, things will happen. You just need to keep working. You all know for me the very concept of work has changed. If you all talk to me about career growth. I don’t think I did much work in that area but yes if you talk to me about personal growth I think I have achieved a lot. How do you define success? Yes, it is true I want to create a great life for myself be it in my career or my personal life. I don’t think my age is going to be a barrier to whatever I want to create in the world. If I look back at my life I have made lots of progress. I did not want to live in the year 2017, I just wanted to die. In the year 2018, God granted me my life again. I was lying on my death bed and all of a sudden my condition improved. In the year 2019, there was a desire within me to start my life all over again and now in the year 2020, I think I am in a much better position than what I was in the year 2017. But if I compare my life to other people I don’t stand anywhere but if I compare myself to my past years I have made lots of progress. Wow, a great achievement.
I want to tell each one of you out there please do not compare your life with anyone. Your life is different, your journey is different, your goals are different and God’s expectations from you are completely different. The creator created you to achieve a goal that no one else could achieve and that is the only reason you are alive. Like you people take my example I had a near-death experience thrice but I did not die. My God saved me and I know the work which I am meant to do has to be done only by me because they cannot replace me with anyone. I am not a serious girl, but a committed, dedicated person. I am not perfect, in fact very imperfect and I love myself the way I am. You, people, know how it feels when the creator makes his presence felt to you. It is hard to imagine, everything seems illogical and it feels completely insane. I am not a sage, not a great yogini and I don’t have any idea of what is written in all religious books. I don’t know but here I am living my life. Though I have gone through lots in my life, overcame lots of sorrows but God never left me alone. I was always protected. When I was struggling with my finances since I could not work because of health problems and personal problems my dad stepped in and sorted out everything.
I have got great neighbors. Uncle and aunty love me so much. It would have been very difficult for me to stay alone in Nagpur, Maharashtra if they were not there. It was my decision to stay alone in Nagpur after my marriage ended since my dad could not see me in that depressed state. He knew I needed my time to heal. My neighboring aunty listened to everything and was there for me, I never shared my sorrows with my parents. When I want to thank the creator I have many reasons to thank him. He gave me support everywhere but never interfered in my learning since he wanted me to learn my life lessons and emerge into a better human being. It is very difficult for you to grow up when you have a possessive dad like me who treats you like a 10-year-old kid. For him, I never grew up. I love my dad. When I want to go out and do some search for work he wants me to stay with him and spend some time with him. I was still wondering whether to go or not. I was standing in front of my God with folded hands and was asking him what should I do?
An airplane passed by and yes my God answered that it was time for me to go home. I really don’t have any idea of what next in my life. None of my plans worked and when the divine plan is in action I have no idea of the future which is going to unfold for me but I hope for the best. I have 1000 reasons to thank God. My idea of perfection does not match with his idea of perfection and that is the only reason I have shifted my focus. I have prayed for so many things and have worked on myself a lot and now everything which is happening around me makes me feel that I am living in a fantasy world. I am a girl who lives her life from the heart and I know I attract people like me in my life. I have no idea of how the world is, there are so many things I have not seen and experienced in the world out there. I sometimes feel that the outer world I see is a reflection of my inner world. Do you think that your God is a person out there whom you just need to worship and remember during times of prayer? My answer is “No”. I think he is someone who should become a part of you so that you can live and see life differently.
I deal with all my negative feelings and lots of other stuff but that is simply humane. I just want to tell everyone out there that live your pains and do not run away from them. Live those sad moments, find a solution, and then move ahead because those unhealed traumas are going to kill you slowly and will take away the peace of your life in the long run if you leave them untreated. I waited for 4 years to heal my mind and body before I could think of moving ahead in my life. All my friends out there were living a great successful life and were happily married but I was dealing with depression and divorce. I never got jealous and I knew my journey was different. Even today all my sisters are living a great life. They can purchase anything they want since their husbands are working but I am struggling with my finances. I don’t hate this position of mine because I know this is the best which my God could plan for me. Even in the worst of situations, he created the best life for me. I know lots of people start complaining and get jealous, angry with everything going around them. It is ok to be in that state for a moment but don’t let those negative emotions overpower you.
Try to be happy and if people around you are happy when you are sad you try to shift your focus towards happiness rather them trying to bring them to your level. I am telling you if you have learned and mastered this art you have mastered life. There are lots of unhappy souls in my flat scheme who think I should be sad since I am divorced and they have problems with my laughter but I don’t care. I know what I want from my life and I know how to create my own happiness. People around me tell me that I look much younger than my age but they don’t know how many obstacles I have overcome. I never let anything happening in my life transform me into a negative person. If you come in contact with me you will feel my energy because I connect from the heart. I cannot show superficial love because I am a deep-rooted, committed girl. I strongly believe that to become successful in life you should check how you spend your time even in the worst situations. These moments define your mental status and the energies which you are going to attract in your life.
You can lie to the entire world but you can’t escape yourself. Don’t judge anyone, you never know what the other person is going through. I really don’t know what next in my life. My God knows that I am done with the past and I have to live the now and create a new future for myself. Life has tested me a lot. I am a pampered child of my parents and I never had any idea of what pain is and when I realized what pain is, it changed my whole being. I have rebuilt myself from all the broken pieces and God gave me his glue because the person which exists in this body is a different one. I and tension don’t go hand in hand. My dad is much more tensed about me than me. My God has his plans, my dad has his own and on top of all that, I have my own plans for life. I have no idea what next. I suffered so much because I loved the man who left my life to that extent because I can’t love someone half-heartedly. Fall in love and even if you don’t get that back from the same person the universe might have better plans for you.
I have learned a lot in these last four years of my life. I am trying and have tested everything so that I clear all my past life karmas and don’t take rebirth. I know whatever I have experienced was something which I could not avoid. Even the universe did not give a nod to my wishes when I wanted my husband back in my life in the year 2017. I really don’t know why? But God accepted all my prayers and I had proof of that. I have my answers now and I know that there are few decisions which are taken by your soul and you cannot change them. When you start growing your soul by working on your ownself you start aligning with the geometry of the universe. The inner blockages or resistances are removed and a different set of energy starts flowing in your body. See it is something like tuning your body to the frequencies which match you. Then you start seeing angle numbers and experience synchronicities in your life.
Some of my dreams may sound very insane to lots of people and that is the only reason it is between me and my God. If the Law of Attraction works to the minutest detail then things are going to shift in a great way. Make God your best friend or your lover whichever you choose and then share with him everything because that way you covert that eternal spirit into a human being. Each one has a part of him within us then why not have in your life and share your life with him. I am telling you your life gets easier. That love void which needs to be filled by a human being can’t be replaced but you are in a better position. I personally feel you need someone to grow old with, cry together, fight, love, and live a great life. Don’t expect a perfect life or a perfect person because it is the imperfections that make life beautiful. Nothing other than God is perfect and if you crave too much perfection then you will make your life miserable.
To understand life you have to live it from the heart. Applying too much logic is never going to help. When I want to apply my logic to everything that is happening in my life I can’t. Everything which is happening in my life seems so illogical and that is the only reason when my dad called me home I agreed because I needed a break from my inner work. I have done so much work on my own self that I am experiencing weird stuff. If you want to experience God then you need to leave your five senses and logic behind you. He will make his presence felt.
I really don’t know how much I will be able to write when I am home because there my sister’s children keep me very busy. They fight, cry, laugh, and make so much noise that any normal person will get supercharged. I am going to live that life now after a long time. I don’t have any plans to return back to Nagpur. I want my God to interfere and change my life. He is the one who can create miracles and I want him to create one for me. Let’s see what next. Love, laugh, and Dream because fairies do exist and you might spot one. Wow, Great!
